The Bug Before Christmas (Programmer Humor)

Posted by BruceG on December 25, 2019 in Musings |

-= The Bug Before Christmas =-
(inspired by The Night Before Christmas)

Twas the bug before Christmas, when all through the office,
not a coder was sleeping, not even the bosses;

The breakpoints were set in the debugger with care,
in hopes that the culprit would soon pop up there;

The investors were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dollar signs danc’d in their heads.

One coder heard crying, and I with my mug,
Had just finished compiling and began to debug.

When there on my screen a breakpoint did hit,
I sprang from my chair and declared “This could be it!”

Away to my co-worker I flew like a flash,
leaned over his cubicle and yelled at his back.

The look on his face I knew all to well,
Staring blankly at his screen is all he would tell.

When, what to my bloodshot eyes would appear,
An intermittent bug–the coders worst fear!

With only hours to go ‘fore we needed to ship,
I knew in that moment we were in the deepest of sh*t.

More rapid than clock cycles the cold sweats did come,
With cursing and shouting and blaming and glum!

With no plan in sight we knew this was it,
We needed a kluge, some miraculous fix.

So into the bag of programming tricks we did go
Digging deeper than ever for something to show.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my mind
A faint whisper which said “all you need is more time.”

I laughed when it came, in spite of myself;
Something surely not taught in the books on my shelf.

“We’ll make it DLC, and have them pay more!”
That will buy us some time while we hunt down this boar.

So we walled off the feature where the crash bug appeared,
Told our boss, “Extra revenue!” to ease all her fears.

And laying a finger aside of her nose,
And giving a nod, back to her office she rose;

We sprang to our desks, with the clock running out
Fingers flashing, keyboards clicking and sounding about

With laser-like focus, and brows drenched in sweat,
One final compile, and testing, and release we did get.

But we heard our boss exclaim, from outside her office door–
“Happy Christmas to all, and to coders, see you back in the morn!”


– Merry Christmas to all! B.G.


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